Believe In Redemption
by KouenTaisa
Summary: A series of drabbles that are mostly about Severus Snape. Contains spoilers for all of the books. Other characters will be featured. Now complete. A sequel is in the works.
1. Smile

Author: If you haven't read to at least chapter 34 in DH then don't read this unless you want to spoil yourself. This will be chaptered, because I said so and because I couldn't get it all out in this. So please, enjoy. 

_Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the Book Of Sin (also known as Deathly Hallows) belongs to J.K. Rowling, not me._

**  
Believe in Redemption**

Severus Snape stood in his office, onyx eyes closed. The portrait of Albus Dumbledore hung behind him, blue eyes unable to twinkle in this troubled time. His hands were palm down on the desk, his body trembling with every shakey breath that he exhaled. Tonight was the night. There would be no more wondering... no more "what if's". There would be a finality to tonight.

"Albus-"

"No regrets, Severus. Is that not what we agreed on? There are to be no regrets. You have served your time, and saved yourself and so many others-"

"That is not the point, Albus. It will all be futile unless Potter- Harry, understands. The boy must understand what is to happen. I can't believe you-"

"-mislead you? For that I am sorry. His protection was necessary-"

"-so that he could die now, yes, yes..." his voice became softer with every word that passed forth from his lips. Albus watched, unable to comfort the man in front of him with more than mere words, but... words had never been enough for Severus, even as a child. He needed action, touch... something that was reassuring... that spoke volumes more in the silence that lingered after words.

"Severus-"

"No regrets. I wonder if Potter will see it that way," and with those words he grabbed his wand and moved away from the desk. It was time. Amycus and his sister Alecto would already be down. He would get his first sight of the boy in many months... months that dragged along like years. He would frown, and act like the traitor he was supposed to be, but on the inside he would smile... smile because Harry was alive and it would be like looking into the eyes of Lily all over again. Severus would smile because they still had a chance.


	2. So Very Close

**Believe in Redemption So Very Close**

Standing there, knowing now that his demise was so close, he was not afraid. His hand twitched around his wand, grasping the wood a little tighter as he listened to his lord speak. The moment of realization came far too soon, in his opinion. Albus had given him no warning, but he still knew. Knew that, just as Harry would die tonight, so would he. A martyr for a cause that he had believed so little in. For as he explained once to Albus: it was not the cause he fought for, but those that had died fighting for it.

_"Kill."_

The word, although delivered in parseltongue, sent shivers up and down his spine. His end was so very close, and yet... he felt at peace. Peace because he knew that the Potter brat was just a few feet away, watching him die. Peace, at the thought that he would be seeing Lily soon. Peace... because he would stare into those damnable green eyes before his time was at hand. He was so close to death, but it would never come quick enough.


	3. Look At Me One More Time

**Believe in Redemption Look At Me One More Time**

Death hurt like a bitch. Severus pressed his hand to the bleeding wound in his neck, cursing that damn snake, that, just like him, would soon be dead. He waited though, waited for those green eyes to appear into his sight. He was not disappointed. A few seconds after the Dark Lord took his leave, Harry crept over to his ex-professor and removed the cloak. Severvus could not think clearly by then, the pain beginning to overwhelm all of his senses. He gasped out a few words, having no idea what they were, but he was glad they had been what he wanted. With trembling hands, Harry bottled up the memories that flowed from Severus. Painful, yes, but necessary.

"_Look at me."_

He pulled him closer, gripping the front of his shirt with the little strength he possessed. Onyx and green melded together, and then his hand fell. Severus Snape was no more.


	4. Can You See It Now?

**Believe in Redemption Can You See It Now?**

He was dead.

Harry stared into the pensieve, reliving the memories of his ex-professor... and he felt sick inside. Not because Snape had been in love with his mother... but because of just how much he had done for her. He had loved her until the point of death. He had begged and pleaded and pledged himself into servitude to save her, and when he had failed her... he had turned to Harry.

He had died for his mistakes.

Severus had played the spy, his life hanging in the balance, for _him._ For an ungrateful little boy with a hero-complex. He had went out day after day, killing himself to make sure that Harry had a life. It was surprising, all the things that he realized now that the man was gone.

"Look at me."

_Look at me, so I can see her eyes. So I can see that she is alive in you, and that you are still fighting. Look into my eyes so I know that I have not made another mistake. Look at me. _Harry was indeed a foolish boy. All of those enraged looks... all of those detentions and all of that anger... all because Harry had wanted to be as reckless as his father. As carefree as his Godfather... and never as cautious as his mother.

"Look at me."

He could see it all now.


	5. The Guardian

**Believe in Redemption The Guardian**

Draco's body tensed, pale blue eyes so terribly sad. The reality ripped through Harry's chest like a knife, forcing him to look away from his former enemy.

"... he's gone... Severus-" the young Malfoy choked on the words that refused to be released out into the open. Because, it would be real then. The man that had protected him since childhood, been more of a father than Lucius, his guardian... he would be gone. A warm hand grabbed his cold shoulder, holding him steady as his legs threatened to give out.

"Malfoy-"

"How-how did he died?" the words were forced from a tight throat, sounding raw as they escaped out into the open air. Harry tensed, letting his hand drop from the shoulder of his rival. Green eyes focused out the window, unable to stare into the crumbling pale blue of the man standing opposite of him.

"Nagini."

Draco narrowed his eyes, his hands clenching into fists at his side as he looked away then. That damnable snake. He would kill it himself, if Neville hadn't of already murdered it.

"Was he-"

"... I think he was happy."

The boy nodded, turning to leave and return to his overly-worried mother. He could see Narcissa sitting in the Great Hall by his father, and he was struck with the idea that they had all made it out alive... all but the man that he had loved so feverishly... because Severus had always been a pillar of strength, and Draco hated himself for having doubted him the year before.

"He was a good guardian." Harry stated. Draco nodded, slowly walking away from Harry.

"Yeah... that was the job no one pegged him for."

Without anymore words, the boys retreated to their own ideas of home. Both charges of Severus Snape. Both coming out better for it.


	6. Tiny Dancer

**Believe in Redemption Tiny Dancer**

Severus closed his eyes, taking the familiar path to the Shrieking Shack. He paused, a memory gripping him so suddenly that he almost cried out in surprise... almost being the keyword.

_Lily laughs, twirling around and around in the sand of the local playground. Severus watches her, onyx eyes entranced by her smooth movements. They are only children. He is positive that he loves her. She does not seem to take notice of his half-smile as she closes her eyes, her bare feet carrying her on the sand. He stands, stepping closer and catching her as she almost slips. Still she laughs, a sound so childish and carefree that his heart aches. Even as a child, he knows there will never be another who can mesmerize his heart the way she has._


	7. All For Love

**Believe in Redemption: All For Love**

Severus strode out onto the Astronomy Tower, his cloak billowing behind him. Heads turned, eyes full of surprise, but he had only eyes for Albus. Draco stood there, trembling, and he was glad that he had not been late. He reached into his robes, hesitating as he stared into tired blue. When had the headmaster become so old?

_"Severus, please." _and just like that, he had no time. But, he couldn't hate him, now could he? Because this was for Lily... for the boy that was hiding under the invisibility cloak at this precise moment, watching. For the man that Harry would become within a single year. A man that would never understand until it was all to late.

_"Avada Kedavra."_

He almost reached out for the falling figure, but stopped. He instead grabbed Draco and started to run as fast as he could with the boy. He had done this to save Harry, to spare Draco... to alleviate Albus' pain. The greatest sin he had committed tonight... was simply, to love.


	8. Bother

**Believe in Redemption: Bother**

Severus stood in front of the class of fifth years, Gryffindors and Slytherins... his trouble class. Draco, his insufferable godson, sat in between Crabbe and Goyle, casting glances at Potter with half-lidded grey eyes. Harry was staring at the black board, processing the information that it contained, hoping that he could get this potion right. He sat between Granger and Weasley, the girl already at work while Ron glanced between the board, his cauldron, and the book.

The scene almost caused him to sigh in annoyance. Instead, he turned away from them, releasing a deep breath as he grabbed the bridge of his nose. Closing his onyx eyes, he calmed himself as he listened to the sound of chopping and crushing in the background. Without turning, he knew that Draco would already be taunting Potter, and Potter would be struggling to keep his composure. This time, he did sigh, but it was soft in the loud atmosphere. They were such a bother.


	9. Visions Of You

**Believe in Redemption: Visions of You**

Pale hands curled around the chains in the fence, onyx eyes so cold and distant as they gazed upon the happy family. _He _was smiling, watching her with those terrible eyes of his. She, the goddess of his dreams, was laughing softly, her young son tucked safely in her arms as she sat in the swing. Her eyes, twin emeralds of beauty, were shining in the fading light of the sun. For an instant, as shadows were cast upon the playground and his visage was distorted, he could pretend.

Severus Snape could pretend that it was not James Potter smiling at Lily with those sinful eyes of his. Could pretend, even, that she was holding his child instead of that wretches, but as the sunlight lifted from his features and he took a step toward her, the vision was broken. Pale fingers dropped from the fence, onyx eyes holding rage as their owner turned and walked away.

Lily Potter would never know. She would never see him standing on the other side of the fence, longing held in his pale features. Never would she realize that as their world was cast in shadows, his was cast in light. Lily would never know that he, Severus Snape, was still seeing visions of her in a white wedding dress. She would never know that he still loved her.


	10. Portrait

**Believe in Redemption: Portrait**

Albus Severus Potter reached the stone gargoyle, shuffling his feet. He paused, looking up. Unruly black hair fell into his green eyes, almost hiding the passageway.

"Automobile." his voice was soft, but it must have been loud enough. Taking a step forward, he started to ascend the stairs into the office of the Headmaster.

"Come in," the voice was quiet, welcoming him into the office. He still paused though, staring at the large doors before he opened one and walked in. There, sitting behind the desk, Arthur Weasley. He smiled, standing up and holding out his arms as the young boy rushed into them. For the last six years, Arthur had been the Headmaster. McGonagall had given up her position, becoming tired. She just wanted to teach, and he understood. Young Albus smiled, relaxing a little. His Gryffindor robes were easy to see, his tie untucked from his vest.

A very annoyed sigh came from a potrait, causing Albus and Arthur to both turn their heads. There, staring at them with intense onyx eyes, was none other than Severus Snape.

"Potter needs to have a better taste in names, honestly... Albus Severus..." he grumbled. Albus raised a single eyebrow, the look hilarious on his young face. Severus, in turned, raised a matching eyebrow.

"And Gryffindor too, such a distasteful house... but I suppose, if it's what you chose, young Albus, then it is fine."

He smiled. "You're not as bad as Uncle Ron makes you out to be."

Severus sneered, hearing the portrait beside him, containing Albus Dumbledore, laugh.


	11. Lonely For Her

Author: Yay, finally, an author's note. This chapter is dedicated to Zodiac Eclipsen (and Hanna28), who wants these to be just a _tad_ bit longer. points As I said... just a _tad._

_Plot Bunny:_ This story is now going to have a total of fourteen chapters. They are already planned out and will be up soon. But, there will be a sequel, if I get enough reviews. Your ideas will be appreciated.

**Believe in Redemption: Lonely For Her**

Severus stared into the flames, a bottle of fire whiskey dangling from his fingers. The fire danced in his eyes, betraying a warmth that he certainly did not feel. After all, his warmth had been dead since he was fifteen. That was the year he had fucked up. He had overstepped his boundaries with Lily, calling her a Mudblood. At the time, it seemed the most plausible thing to do. He had suffered enough at their hands. His anger had quickly spun out control. He apologized, but words are never enough. His mother had learned that the hard way with his father.

His lip curled in self-loathing smile as he took another swig from the almost empty bottle. His mother had died believing that. His father, a drunken idiot, had died a year later. His death came from the bottle that he tipped to his lips, laced wit a potion that he himself had made. It was not exactly the killing curse, but Lucius praised him for his first kill.

Lucius, a bitter name on his tongue. He wondered how much would be different if he had not followed the Malfoy blindly for the first part of his life at Hogwarts. For one thing, he might still be friends with Lily. They might have fallen in love, and the Potter brat would have never been. In his place would be their child, a girl perhaps. Lily had always talked of wanting a daughter. He had never admitted that he fancied the idea as well.

The bottle slipped from his fingers, breaking into a thousand tiny pieces at his feet. He was gasping for breath, tears pooling in those charcoal eyes, trying to force their way out. One pale hand came up, gripping his chest, fisting the robes in his hand as he trembled. The wind howled outside, mirroring the anguish inside of him. Even the warmth of the fire and alcohol could not bring life into his cold body.

Only she, the dead woman that he still yearned for, could make him feel alive. He could stand in a crowd of people, people that he considered allies, and sometimes even friends, and he would still be alone. Severus had learned a long time ago, the hard way, that he would only ever be content when he was dead and he could apologize to her. No one, not even the boy with her eyes, could cure the lonely ache that she had left in his heart.


	12. Mad World

Author: pokes 1,327 hits... and only 13 reviews. Come on people, you can do better than that, I promise. Give me some love, some hate... just give me something.

_Plot Bunny:_ This story is now going to have a total of fourteen chapters. Which means, there are only two chapters left. (Warning: This one just rambles)

**Believe in Redemption : Mad World**

Severus narrowed his onyx eyes, gaze trained on the battle before him. The light of a spell zipped past him, forcing him back into the real world suddenly. The painful world. A world that was being shattered by war. Standing there, flicking his wrist and pointing his wand with deadly accuracy, he contemplated his choice. A life as a Death Eater over a life of always being second best to James Potter. Second best to the man that he hated most in life.

Now, at the time of his death, looking back, he would have done nothing different... almost. On that hot summer day in his fifth year, he should've bit his tongue when it came to Lily. He should've done the same years later, never retelling the prophecy to his Master, but... he could not change what his foolishness had caused. He was a spy. A broken man, serving under to mad men, one aiming to create a world just as mad as himself... and the other trying to correct past sins and stop futures ones by words and justice alone.

He sighed, so very tired in the midst of his mental battle. It truly was a mad world.


	13. Stolen

Author: pokes 2,220 hits... and only 16 reviews. Come on people, you can do better than that, I promise. Give me some love, some hate... just give me something. If not, the sequel _Never-Ending Battle_, will not hit pages. At the end of the sixteenth chapter, there shall be a small taste of what it will be like.

_Plot Bunny:_ This story is now going to have a total of sixteen chapters. Which means, there is only three chapters left.

**Believe in Redemption: Stolen**

Severus looked away, onyx eyes pained. She wasn't with him anymore. His hands trembled as he gripped the picture, forcing away the tears. She was smiling at him, waving. Harry, young and reckless, zoomed about on his toy broom. Although he could not see James, he could see the man's legs in the corner, moving to catch his son. It pained him. Lily had been taken... _stolen _away from him. It was a thought that could bring him to his knees... to have that which you most desire, most _need_, stolen.


	14. Linger

Author: You no longer have to wait. These last chapters are being posted up in sucession. smiles

_Plot Bunny:_ This story is now going to have a total of sixteen chapters. Which means, there is only two chapters left.

**Believe In Redemption: Linger**

Even after seventeen years, she was still here. Alive in the eyes of the black-haired boy who he was protecting. Here, in the memories of a single werewolf. Dancing at the edge of every conscious moment he experienced. Smiling back at him from the picture he had taken from the empty bedroom of a dead comrade. After seventeen years of being dead, Lily Evans lingered... and it killed him.


	15. Prince of Wands

Author: Ah, my least favorite, although I like the title.

_Plot Bunny:_ This story is now going to have a total of sixteen chapters. Which means, there is only one chapter left.

**Believe in Redemption: Prince of Wands**

At the age of seventeen, Severus Snape was the best duelist that had ever ventured through the doors of Hogwarts. He could defeat anyone, even Bellatrix, in a one-on-one battle. Lucius was no match for him, and Minerva was just the same. Albus could not even disarm him, at least, within the schools rules. Outside, it was a whole different story. They had fun dueling, even though it was a dangerous sport. He had always had deft hands and a quick tongue, both aiding in his battles. It was the only way he had some respect. He was a Prince after all. A Half-Blood Prince with the power of wands.


	16. Knockin On Heaven's Door

Author: And here we are. The last chapter. It's taken me a while to get here, but we have finally arrived. smiles Don't you just love me? Thank you to all who have reviewed and will. It always makes my day to read your thoughts.

_Plot Bunny:_ The End

**Believe In Redemption: Knockin on Heaven's Door**

There was no white light at the end of a tunnel. No chorus of trumpets as the angels summoned him home. No burning fire as he entered into the gates of Hell. Only a blinding pain remained, pumping throughout his body, forcing him to breath until it was too much. His last glimpse of life had been within the eyes of a young boy, a boy that, on that day, had become a human sacrifice.

The voice was soft, and for a moment, he thought it just to be his imagination playing tricks on his mind. After all, he often imagined that she was right there, beside him, only to realize that seventeen years had gone by and she was dead. A cruel reality, even for a man of his caliber.

"Sev, open your eyes."

His eye lids fluttered, and he found the burning pain to be gone. Onyx eyes stared up, up into the green eyes that he had died seeing. The woman above him smiled, red hair flowing around her shoulders and almost framing her face.

"Look, he's awake."

Turning his head, he was able to see that more than one person was standing around him. Sirius Black, that damned mutt, was giving him the most stupid smile, his black hair almost hanging in his eyes. He looked younger, healthier, and for a moment, Severus allowed relief to course through his body. Standing next to the dog was the stag, as young and as gangly as he had been in his Hogwarts days, his untamable hair coming down into his eyes.

"I'm almost impressed, Severus..." the voice was soft, but he recognized it all the same. After all, he almost always spoke that way. Lily reached out her hand, helping him up into a sitting position. Remus was standing just behind Lily, amber eyes vibrant and sandy hair askew. For a moment, the ex-Death Eater was surprised to see the werewolf.

"You're dead?"

He nodded, and it was then that Severus noticed Tonks standing beside her husband. A painful note struck his heart.

"I am."

He looked around, casting his eyes about for more familiar faces. Standing off to the side was Peter Pettigrew, as timid as he was the first day at Hogwarts, but he seemed happy here. Albus was nearby, talking to a small girl and a woman who looked like she could be his mother. Severus believed she was. Colin Creevy, a Gryffindor student, was near a bright, red-haired gangly boy. Fred Weasley was smiling down at the kid, and he felt pain for the Weasley family. Molly and Arthur would take it hard, but then again, so would the twin left behind.

"Where am I?" he asked softly, looking up into those green eyes again. She was still smiling at him, soft and gentle. He loved that smile. Sirius held his hand out, grasping his right hand, and he grinned. Severus was at peace, and his world was settled with the words the only honorable Black spoke.

"Welcome home."


	17. Preview

**Preview of Never-Ending Battle**

A string of words put together to form a pledge. A truth. A promise. He had made a promise. To him and to her. To a world that scorned him. For a boy who would never know _that _side of him. For all of this he gave, and took nothing in return. For a promise is a string of words formed together. A pledge. A truth. A truth that takes everything and gives nothing in return. That brutal kind of reality. 


End file.
